12 Questions to Ask Yourself Before New Year's Resolutions

I feel that the best way to wish you a happy new year is by writing this text.

When we start a new year, we usually start out enthusiastic, full of energy and hope, with lots of ideas and conviction abounds. We usually say “this year will THE Year!!”.

But as the year goes by, some things start to change, there are too many urgencies and unforeseen events, the goals we had defined also start to change and they lose preponderance and, by March/April, everything is the same as before. We get again to December and we are back to the same speech - “This will be my year!”

I do not say this because I have read it somewhere or because I have heard it from someone. I say this because I lived it several times.

We tend to overestimate events and underestimate process. But it's the process that counts. The process is most important.

It's what I do now, today, every day that goes by, consistently, that directly influences my results.

The next 365 days ahead are “just” another 365 days, in which if we don't change who we are, everything will remain the same.

I realized that looking forward, hoping for the best is important. But unless you do what you have to do first, it becomes pretty much irrelevant.

And before projecting my future, I need to reflect and analyze my recent past. Not to cling to limitations and impossibilities, but to learn.

To intentionally end this 365-day cycle, I ask myself 12 questions that I share with you below, hoping they can help you make the same reflection.

 

1. What made this year unforgettable?

There is always something memorable that happens to us. Perhaps it was a special moment experienced as a couple, with family, friends or at work. If you think about the last year, what immediately comes to mind?

 

2. What did I enjoy doing most during this last year?

Did I start a new activity, a hobby, did I start doing something in favor of an old dream?

 

3. To whom am I grateful for coming into my life?

If you usually follow me, you know that I give a very special relevance to what I call: Core People - the people around us with whom we relate the most. They have a tremendous impact on the person we are becoming every day. Who do you thank for coming into your life and who is good for you?

 

4. What is my biggest achievement this year?

Thinking about my main achievement gives me a sense of accomplishment. It was an atypical year, we already know, but I certainly conquered myself somehow. Remember that not everything is bad.

 

5. What did I see/hear/read that had the most impact on me?

What we consume inspires us, shapes our thinking and helps us to work on our fullest potential. Have I seen a movie or documentary that left an impression on me? Have I read a book or article that has given me a different perspective?

 

6. What was my biggest concern during the year and how did that issue end?

As Dale Carnegie mentioned in his book “How to win friends and influence people” (one of the books I recommend to everyone), 93% of the things we worry about never happen, or at least they don't happen the way we had anticipated.

But the truth is that we all always experience some kind of concern.

What worried me most during this last year? Was what generated this concern in my control? If not, then why was I wasting so much precious energy on it? And in the end, what happened?

 

7. What is my biggest regret and why?

We're not perfect, we never will be, and we all make mistakes. But it's the way we interpret the mistake that makes us grow. So, did I make any mistake? Did I learn from it? Did I make a mistake with someone else? Have I asked them for forgiveness?

Carrying burdens only slows us down on our way.

Ahh, it takes courage and humility to apologize. It's cliché I know, but without courage we will never leave the same place where we are now. Without humility we will live in isolation.

 

8. What was the main change I had in myself?

The fact that we can change is something extraordinary and even mystical. I believe that all, but really all limits are self-imposed. We are not determined by anything or anyone. We can be influenced yes, but never determined. Looking back over the past 365 days, where else have I changed? What evolution am I most proud of having made?

I can share with you that my main evolution, apparently small but very significant, was the fact that I finally understood that each one of us, in the same way that each one of us can only give what he has, only receives what he is prepared to receive. There are people who are not prepared to receive what I have to give and, naturally, the opposite is also true.

 

9. What have I constantly been putting off during last year?

Here we return to the topic with which I began this text. At the end of last year I decided to do several things. Some I did and others not so much.

But what was truly important that I’ve delayed once again? In what specific situations did I procrastinate? And why did I do it? Is it because I really don't want to do it? How many excuses did I make?

Being aware is always the most important step.

 

10. What surprised me the most this year?

Life is absolutely magical and amazing. But…there's always a “but”, amazing things only happen when we give them space to happen. When we want to control everything, we are doing precisely the opposite.

Did I surprise myself? Who surprised me? And always on the positive side of course. Please remember the planet is already full with negative people.

 

11. Have I stayed true to my values?

Especially in the biggest challenges I've experienced during this last year, have I managed to stay true to my values, my vision and what I believe in? If so, great. If not, why did I do it?

 

12. If you could go back to January 1st this year, what suggestion would I have given me?

Yes yes I know…the “ifs” don't exist. But the question here is more to look at from the perspective of learning than from the perspective of conclusion.

Are there any lessons I've learned over the year that I wish I'd known earlier?

Did you have any indicators and evidence that already showed me this? If so, did I decide to ignore them? If not, how can I do it next time?

 

Navigating these questions has become an end-of-year ritual for me.

If there's anyone in the world where hope resides, that person it's me. But thinking about all these questions and some of the answers I get makes me want to build my future even more intentionally.

I hope you have an amazing next 365 days cycle!!

 

With love, respect and dedication.

João