The Power of an Amazing "Kick in the Ass"!

When we talk about personal development, we are not talking about an ethereal, romanticized concept, much less a trend. And a good "kick in the ass" can be a great help for us working and exploring our fullest potential!

Personal development is nothing more than intentionally becoming the person who is prepared in a multidimensional way, to have the results we want to have. In order to have the lasting results we want, we have to work more on ourselves than on our job. Because everything, really everything, is the materialization of who we are. After all, no one gives what they don't have...

I´ve learned this in 3 ways:

The theoretical concept with Jim Rohn;
In practice - after implementing and seeing the results happen to me;
By doing the work I do with my clients (coaching clients) and seeing what they have achieved after each small evolution.

As an example, if I want to become a Formula 1 driver, I not only have to master the art of driving, but I also have to develop my concentration and focus skills, decision making, dealing with distractions, anxiety, breath control, endurance, managing emotions and feelings.

In this context, the slightest slip-up compromises my life decisively and drastically.

If I want to become an elite football coach, in addition to mastering technical-tactical knowledge, I need to develop and enhance my leadership skills, communication, vision, intuition and decision-making, relational skills (with all stakeholders*), creating and managing momentum, managing conflicts and energy, dealing with pressure, among others.

Especially in professions where external stakeholders are very important, emotional intelligence is now what separates the best from everyone else.

In my perspective and experience, enhancing our emotional intelligence fits perfectly “under the hat” of personal development.

The real and painful "kick in the ass!"

There are some factors and circumstances that activate our awareness of the importance of this work within us. Ambition, purpose, passion, defending a cause are some of them.

But none works like confronting ourselves with our own mortality. It's a beautiful and real "kick in the ass"!! Confronting our mortality gives us an important sense of urgency to do what we need to do.

It's common to see big changes happen in people who go through a big scare. But you don't have to go that road to “wake up”!

Ask yourself:

If you died today:

◼︎ what would you leave undone?

◼︎ whom would you like to have been that you weren't?

◼︎ what dream would you like to have lived that you didn't?

Another way to look at this is to put your life in a time perspective:

◼︎ How long have I lived until now?

◼︎ How long do I have to live? (based on average life expectancy)

The answers to these questions will serve a lot as validation. Either you are on the path you chosed or you are not. And if you're not, the time to start changing is now.

On your deathbed will you share any of these 5 regrets?!

Bronnie Ware, Australian nurse worked for many years in palliative care. Her patients were those who had been sent home to die.

She claims to have experienced very special moments in the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

She notes: "Each experienced a range of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and finally acceptance."

When asked about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, there were themes that recurred over and over again.

Here are the five most common:

1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most frequent regret of all. When people realize their life is almost over and look back with clarity, it's easy to see how many dreams went unfulfilled. Most people haven't honored even half of their dreams.

It's very important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. They missed not having followed the childhood of their kids and the company of their partners. All people deeply regretted spending so much time on the shelf of a merely professional existence.

3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. Many people have bottled up their feelings to keep the peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses related to bitterness and resentment, which they carried as a result. It is a fact that we cannot control the reactions and attitudes of others. However, while other people may initially react when you change the way you speak honestly and openly, in the end it takes the relationship to a whole new and healthy level.

4. I wish I had kept in touch with my friends. Many became so involved in their own lives that they let great friendships slip away over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone with a very busy lifestyle to let their friendships slip away. But when they face the approach of death, the physical details of life disappear. In the end, it all comes down to love and relationships.

5. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier. It's surprisingly common. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They remained stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity spilled over into their emotions as well as their physical lives. The fear of change made them pretend to others and to themselves that they were happy. When deep down, it wasn't quite how they felt.

Did you felt the kick?!

Work on your gifts and special talent today. Tomorrow can be too late...

As always, at service 🙏

João Cordeiro

PS:

To learn more about Bronnie's work, please visit her website at: https://bronnieware.com

* We can define stakeholders as: “groups and individuals who, in one way or another, have some level of interest in the projects, activities and results of a given organization”.