Normosis | The social constraints that prevent us from being extraordinary

What can we do to leave the herd and start getting different results

I believe that most of us are aware of the importance and impact that beliefs have in our lives, in the way we look at the three phases of time - past, present and future, in the three-dimensionality = I - others -society.

Our beliefs are built over the years, mainly from childhood to adolescence, by all educational and cultural agents.

School, parents, friends and environment have a role of enormous responsibility, if not the only one, in the way we deal with ourselves, with others and with society in general.

It's the seeds we sow at an early age that contribute to the person we will become.

 

The great Portuguese poet António Aleixo said it perfectly:

“I am neither smart nor brutish

Neither good nor bad mannered

I'm just the product

From the place where I was raised.”

 

If we want to change the results we get, we have to change our belief system in first place.

It's not worth changing a behavior if we don't change our beliefs in the first place. Belief guides behavior. Because, no one does anything according to what they don't believe in.

There are hundreds of examples that only reflect a change in behavior and not the belief itself.

Let's look at the issue of physical exercise. How many people do you know who say “This year I'm going to start training 3 times a week! I really need to get in shape”?

After a month, they only train twice, then once and then they quit because… “I don't have time now”.

It was only a few years ago that I realized that the seeds that were sown for me were the seeds of normality, of the cult of the medium. It was only then that I realized that I was suffering from normosis.

Normosis is defined as the set of norms, concepts, values, stereotypes, habits of thinking or acting that are approved by consensus or by the majority.

Almost all people seem to want to fit the pattern, the stereotype that society claims as normal.

Since I was a kid, even a boy until adolescence, the expression “I'm against it” was constantly part of my lexicon. I don't know if it was only because I wanted to be different. The truth is that normality has always bothered me.

 

The number of times I heard:

- The best is the enemy of the good;

- You are a follower of the Least Effort's Law;

- Don't do that! Do you see anyone doing it?

- Everyone goes there, you go too;

 

Any of us who have been subject to this regulatory pressure know how this list goes on and on…

From my twenties I made a giant effort to adapt, to include myself, to have a group of friends like everyone else. Never made it. I started to feel that I wasn't very sociable, that people didn't like me, that I wasn't very cool. So I started wearing the clothes that everyone else wears, wearing what everyone else was wearing, listening to the music that everyone listened to, going to the places that everyone else went to.

This only lasted, fortunately, until my thirties. Today my conscience is quite different.

Living in society, in community, governed by clear rules of cooperation and sharing is fine. Being like everyone else, canceling out our individuality, our gifts just to be accepted, that's already a problem.

It is not a discovery equivalent to gunpowder, much less a new subject. But it seems that people don't want to talk about it, or don't give it due importance. In fact, the great problems of society have been known for a long time, but they are constantly camouflaged and relativized.

If we look at our history, all those heroes who impacted humanity with their genius and made us progress, all of them were and continue to be completely outside the curve. Those who were not included, did not fit in, those who were criticized, who were left out, they were responsible, for example, for me writing this article on this computer and that in seconds it reaches thousands of people like you.

 

Richard Branson, for example, had serious dyslexia problems and traditional learning was always a big challenge for him. He left school at 16 to start his first business. Today it has more than 400 companies.

 

I do not intend to imply that only people who leave school are successful businessmen or professionals, not least because undertaking is everyone's duty, regardless of their position. But we have more and more to consider all the capacities of an individual, instead of reducing them to intellectual knowledge.

The only way to get rid of this social disease and start to be the person that deep down you know you have the potential to be, is to do an individual work of growth and evolution.

 

Some tips for doing this path:

1. Know your uniqueness. What do you have that nobody else has. Each of us has a special talent;

2. Love who you are. You'll have to deal with yourself your whole life. It's good that you know how to relate to yourself;

3. Invest time alone. No distractions, no phones, no computers, no tv, nothing…just you. We are constantly being bombarded with messages about what we should see, wear, what to eat, what to say, what to read, how to act… Investing time will give you a greater breadth of who you are and what you want. It will be a little strange at first, but with practice you will be able to implement this routine.

4. Discover your purpose. Saying it this way sounds like something out of a fairy tale. But the truth is that if you don't really and genuinely know what your role is here, you'll be constantly looking for answers in the wrong place that, naturally, will never satisfy you.

5. Be intentional in your growth and development. School teaches us some things, but limits us a lot, especially in the development of emotional intelligence and behavioral issues. Have you noticed that most companies hire people for one reason (technical resources) but then typically fire them for another reason? (conflicts, attendance/punctuality, poor attitude, communication problems). I would venture to say that more than 90% of dismissal reasons are behavioral.

6. Surround yourself with people who encourage you, who make you grow. We become the average of the five people we spend the most time with, as Jim Rohn once said.

7. Exclude those who do not add value to you and consume your time. If the people you interact with constantly pull you down (or backwards, however you want to define it) and spend most of your time talking about others, maybe it's time to distance yourself from them. They are really concerned about others.

 

In a more business context, when asked: “João, what can I do to improve the results of my company?” - my answer is always the same: “Start by developing yourself. Develop your awareness, discover your true purpose, grow your leadership and communication skills and perhaps you will be able to start attracting different people who will help your company fly.” Well, I confess that I don't just say this, but this sentence sums up what I think about the subject.

Our organizations, whether we are entrepreneurs or employees, will always have the dimension of our own capabilities.

The great Carl Jung said “only the mediocre aspire to normality”.

 

Please share this article with a friend, someone you know has tremendous potential and could benefit from this content.

I believe this seed is different from the others.

With love, respect and determination.

João Cordeiro